Back to the Future

After not posting for an extremely lengthy period of time, we now return to our story of the future.
When we last left our whale decorating hero, he will have lost a toenail, which will have an undiscovered fungus growing on four thirds of it by the time of its misplacement. As soon as the sodium crystals will hit the water, the Italian uncle will sneeze while trying to pluck his eye brows. An onlooking pelican will slip on the dock and get amnesia while a herd of nine seaguls will run into a telephone pole simultaniously. Indubidably!

That one time in the future.

Once upon a time, many years in the future, there will be a league of several people that waste their entire life playing endangered animal Yahtzee. However, what these poor souls will never realize is that the one die that they will accidentally throw at a passing walrus will bounce off of the left eye lid, fall into a sewer drain, float down the sewage in a spam can, be discovered by a flock of green mice, and save their starving mouse baby from an odd disease that can only be cured by the shavings of the playing pieces of certain board games. After gnawing the cube into a dust-like substance, the rodent parents lubricated the miraculous remedy with spit and served it to their ailing offspring on the strangely misplaced toenail of a 12 and 1/2 year old deep sea orca painter that lives in the northeastern part of southern Zimbabwe, but was vacationing on a houseboat on Lake Erie with his great uncle from Venice at the time of the toenail loss.
You see, it all started when he was flicking two grains of salt out from between the skin flaps on his right elbow...

To begin with...

Hello all,
My name is Dr. Rivsauski Archicanton Nii Durfald Oblankerson. But you can just call me Dr. Rando. I acquired my Ph. D. in Humology at the East Carolina Pacific University of Hilarity, Humor, Comedy, and Nursing. However, as much as the medical program intrigued me, I am not that kind of doctor. Throughout all of my years studying the human machine (since I did take a few courses of Brains 101) I have found that there is one remedy, completely natural, that much of humanity has disregarded in this manner: laughter. I'm sure you have all heard the famous saying, "One in the hand is worth two in the bush?" Well, my discovery has absolutely nothing to do with that. You may also have heard this saying: "Laughter is the best medicine." That, my friends, is what I have based my entire theory of long life on. For, while we have plenty of comedians out there with their sex jokes, political jokes, and jokes that just plain make fun of other people, I do not consider those real humor. For, while they can bring about laughter to those of the unclean mind, they continue to pollute the already dirty brain with more filth. Folks, my purpose here is to introduce the future of the giggle, the latest in chuckles, and, for the pure of heart and mind, full out hilarity. Please, sit back and enjoy.

-Dr. Rando

WARNING: Avoid drinks while taking medication prescribed by Dr. Rando. Thank you.